


you left me in the dirt to rot, why would i ever give you the benefit of the fucking doubt;

by bloodynargles



Series: au? au. [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: ? - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, Never - Freeform, also im sorry, apparently, jesus fucking christ callie, moooore au's, when will i ever stop with the aus?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodynargles/pseuds/bloodynargles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A faint, recognizable voice speaks the words, one she used to know, used to entrust her life in the hands of. </p><p>They're gone, now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you left me in the dirt to rot, why would i ever give you the benefit of the fucking doubt;

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: arizona not trusting other freelancers and being cold towards people in general because she had a team once, and they all left her.   
> "people always leave, no matter what. they leave."

"Agent Arizona will accompany you on this mission." South Dakota rolls her eyes, keeping in a comment about the 'teacher's pet' and how sucking up to the director never worked for Carolina, anyway. Her brother nudges her but she just shakes her head sharply, moving slightly, her body language yelling something about being pissed off. Nu was talking about it in Arizona's head, and while she liked her ai having her back, this wasn't the time.

The briefing dragged on for a while, and by the small, pretend, snoring sounds he was making in her head, Nu was bored, too. She knew Carolina would yell it to them as it was happening, and Mu had memorized it all - which, she didn't think was practical, but alas - but she still liked to pay attention, left no time for the idle message chats between the others, or for her to notice how much to her right the rest of them were standing. Didn't blame them, she wasn't part of their team, part of anything, really. She worked alone. No teams, not anymore, not after.. "Arizona," The director's eyes flickered to the red agent, and she could hear a scoff at her side. "You know what to do." He looked away quickly, but her back remained straight. _At attention, Arizona, you're a soldier now_.

 

They filtered out the door and she watched them clump up into a group, shoulders relaxing and hands reaching up to take their helmets off, an easy, friendly atmosphere settling around them. Her eyes dropped to the floor as she walked the other way, wondering if she could train in peace, without her memories getting too overactive, again.

 

 

Elbow them in the chest, under the ribcage, knock the breath out of them. Don't give them time to recover, turn around with a knee to the stomach, knock them to the ground and aim a bullet into their head. If they don't fall, a harsh blow to their neck will finish the job. She repeated every step in her head, every motion to down an enemy, a target. A faint, recognizable voice spoke the words, one she used to know, used to entrust her life in the hands of.

They're gone, now.

She snorts and launches the enemy into the wall, the hologram shattering on impact and the ding of round over was faint in her ears, echoing in the room around her. Spins around to a pair of eyes watching her, head quirked to the side, the bright white lights of the room shining against aqua armour. There's a mumble of her territorial stance, the fists clenched at her side, but the calculating, almost impressed look in those green eyes didn't make sense. Though when did anything make sense about this goddamn project?

"You don't trust us." Arizona sighs and closes her eyes, not because she was defeated, but because she's disappointed Carolina would even have to say such a thing. "I don't trust teams." She says, opening them and throwing a disappointed 'really?' look the other's way. "Why?" There's a tap that belongs to Mu inside her head, the one that means she's bottling things up too much. Almost rolls her eyes, then, but calls off the simulation with a wave of her hand, figuring this would take a while. "Because i know what its like when one goes wrong."

She makes a comfortable stride to her water bottle and has the cap off when the redhead speaks again. "A squad isn't the same thing-" A laugh comes from Arizona, and green eyes whip her way. The sound wasn't joyous, wasn't happy, it was broken, cold. Like someone who tried to play an old, untuned violin, with strings about to snap and the used to be smooth surface flaking away. "Infiltration Two." Her tone was harsh, direct and Carolina almost flinched at the bite behind her words. "The _best_ of the best in infiltration specialists. Ones that the rookies tell stories about at lunch, when they're still children, haven't yet seen the horrors of the war they're being thrown into like pigs to a slaughter house. Indiana used to be able to hack into a source remotely within a minute." Images of her fiery ex-teammate flashed through her head, with her narrow, judging, grey eyes, long brunette hair tied up in messy buns and a tank top stash like no other. "Michigan, Wisconsin - they fought like it was their first battle, always. Iowa, Delaware, New Jersey, they _were_ innocents, they followed our lead. Alabama," Her eyes glazed over slightly, tears threatening to pin prick them, but she blinked quickly and swallowed the lump in her throat. "You remind me a lot of her. The willingness to give anything for your team, she had that." The words were coming out softer, now, her grip on the water bottle tightens, the cap digging into her palm as she clasped it in her hand. Her voice was far away, like she was somewhere else within herself, like she wished she could be back there, with them, wherever they were. Carolina knew that feeling.

"You should watch the twins. Not that something's going on, or that something will - just.. Watch out for them. They can't do it themselves." There's a voice break on Arizona's part, and a tear runs from her eye, but almost as fast as its there, its gone. She's wiped it away and there's little on her face other than the same cold look that she always has. At least the redhead knows its fake, now.

 

 

"Don't take it all on yourself, we're here." Mex's voice echoes in her head as she watches York's back while he hacks, Delta at his side, the hologram's green glow reflecting off of the agent's gold armour. Her eyes scan the wide entrance to the room they were in, noting the vents, and the possible weak points without her ai's help. She was a soldier, she was trained for that.

"We good?" "Yeah, room's clear. If there's anything with a heat signal in there then you can call me North Dakota." There's a groan in her ear coming over the teamwide radio, Michigan's voice coming after. "Dear god, Iowa. Please, never again." She's half way down the hall when Indi's voice pipes up, an unsure tone in it. "Bow chic..ka... wow... wow....?" "Jesus christ, you losers."

A hand on her shoulder startles her out of her head, and she can't see the look on York's face, but she's sure Carolina must have told him because he's more relaxed around her. He shouldn't be.

 

 

The Dakotas are having a fight in her ears, its mostly yelling on South's part but from her position she can see North making gestures when he talks, well, sighs. She can remember these type of fights, normally would spark up on missions, about socks or who got the last cold water bottle. Stupid things, and the louder one would always win. Its how it goes.

 

Nu's talking about how many stars you can see from where they were stationed and he doesn't pick up the person behind her until they have a gun to her head. North stops sighing when he sees the shadow behind her and he tenses, finger resting on the trigger of his rifle. This is a no violence mission - not unless it all goes to shit - and she could take them down easily, or give the nod to the Dakota across the way - who York _told_. But she knows this one, with their grip on her arm and the pressure of the gun barrel against her helmet - she _knows_ them.

"Your arm's weak." She doesn't take off her radio speak to talk, maybe they'll think she's taunting, playing with her food a little. Maybe. Though the dead silence in her ears is them collectively thinking, 'what the fuck is she doing?' But she's _sure_.

Isn't she?

"Have you told your new friends about your leg situation, yet?" "I don't know, are you getting _bitter_ in your old age?" She thrusts her elbow back and the gun drops from their hands, her foot on it as she slides it closer to her, eyes ahead. "Should give me the benefit of the doubt." Arizona snorts, shaking her head slightly, jaw clenched and eyes hard. "Why?" "I _saved_ -" "No." She growls, spinning around, her tone angry, harsh, betrayal mixed in her voice. "No. _You_ left me in the dirt to _rot_. Tell me _why_ i would _ever_ give you the benefit of the fucking doubt." There's silence between them, Nu calculating their body movement and Mu on background noise, approaching enemies, the like. "I'm your _sister_." New Mexico's voice is small and silent, reminds her of Flowers, but just like him, Mex _lies_. "Are you?"

North's gaze moves off of her back, and she takes the opportunity to knock Mex out, slide her carefully down the wall nearest to her and make sure she's out of sight. She can lie, too.

He's not at his sniper post when she gets back, and she lets out a shaky breath while listening to Mu's voice over the noise in her ears, sparing a glance back to an unconscious Mex before sighing and leaving her post to fight with the others.

 

 

They're on the pelican ride home, the others occupied by conversation, trying to get away from the topic of death when North takes her hand and squeezes slightly. Unsaid words hanging in the air, she squeezes back.

 

 

She wants to say that nothing happened between them while her transfer order processed, the one that would post her on a low life planet with some reds and blues, fighting a war that doesn't exist. Wants to say that they didn't accept her into their team, for a little while, that she didn't laugh when South started mouthing off to Niner about how bumpy it was getting in the back. Wishes she could say that she didn't kiss North goodnight and leave after making sure no one would see her leave.

Arizona wishes, as she sits staring at a screen in the blue base at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha - she wishes North didn't have to die thinking she'd abandoned him.

 

 

Agent: North Dakota.

Status: Deceased.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah. yeaaaah. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  
> im sorry. (im not. i wish i was. but im not.)   
> siigh. one day i'll write the canon, i promise. soon.


End file.
